


Colombian coffee

by Sherr



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Coffee, Colombia - Freeform, Craig is a dork, Established Relationship, Fluff, Honeymoon, Humor, Just Married, M/M, Peruvian Craig gives me life, Tweek is scared that someone is going to kill him, peruvian craig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 13:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12818871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherr/pseuds/Sherr
Summary: Is their honeymoon but, somehow, they ended in a country they know shit about.Craig is excited.Tweek is terrified.The coffee is delicious.





	Colombian coffee

The warm weather was something that Tweek's skin was hating, along the crowded streets and annoying noises from vendors, cars and friends gathering around and chattering.  
For Tweek, this was hell in earth.  
And Craig didn't seem bothered by any of this.

"How come you're in perfect state and I'm nearly dying"

"Because, babe, Peru is pretty similar to Colombia. I'm used to this"

"You're a monster"

Craig said nothing but shrugged his shoulders, taking his husband's hand and leading him around the busy streets of Armenia.  
Why were they there was actually a funny story, because they originally wanted to go to Canada. But the world is full of surprises and, somehow, they ended in a flight to a country they knew shit about.  
Craig was happy.  
Tweek was angry and hungry.

"Is not that bad. Besides, Colombia has great coffee, right?"

"In case you don't know, we don't fucking have Colombian money! What money do they use, anyways?!"

"Pesos, I think. Hold on, I'm going to ask where we can find a bank"

The good thing was that Craig knew Spanish, making this journey less shitty. But the bad thing was that they were gaining curious looks from the people, some of them pointing at them and Tweek didn't know what were they saying because, oh surprise, he doesn't know Spanish. Tweek never did well being in the spotlight, unless he was acting, so his anxiety was kicking him on the nuts. And, let me tell you, it was kicking him very hard.

Damn airlines with its fucking mistakes in crucial times.

And, speaking of crucial times, Craig was missing.  
Fuck.

...

He wasn't actually missing, he was just asking a couple for directions to make it to the bank without the worry of getting killed or kidnapped.  
This was going to be a long day.

Armenia was actually a pretty city. If the situation was different, he would be taking pictures of the places and taking selfies with Craig to post them on Instagram. Instead, he was fidgeting while holding Craig's hand and following him, because he was the only one who understood the directions and there was no way in earth he was going to separate from him. Even if Colombia was a pretty country full of smiling people, he didn't heard nice things about the place, some of those things involving murders and drugs; Tweek was done with the drugs part thanks to his parents, thank you very much.

Against all his predictions –which were all negative– they made it to the bank without a problem, but the real journey began when Tweek saw the large line.  
He groaned, leaning against Craig shoulder. He was already tired and it even wasn't 1 pm.

"I wanna go home"

"I want to go home too, babe, but it's our honeymoon. Maybe we aren't in Canada, but we will enjoy this. I promise you I will brought you the best coffee in Colombia"

"And muffins?"

"And muffins"

That was enough for him.  
And it was worth the hour of waiting.

...

After a tiring day of walking, eating and, eventually, taking photographs of everything, they made it to the hotel. The first thing Tweek did was throw himself in the bed, groaning in pleasure at the soft welcome. Craig chuckled at that, taking off his jacket and walking towards the bed, sitting besides his husband. Craig took the blonde's hand, smiling slightly.

"It wasn't that bad, right, honey?"

"Right... But I haven't drank coffee in five hours, can you call room service? Please"

"Of course"

If Craig had to be completely honest to someone, he was happy to see Tweek calm after the panic attack he had at the airport, claiming that they will end dead because that's the fame Colombia has. Of course it didn't ended like that, and they enjoyed the day at their best.  
So, it was his turn to fulfill his promise.

He called room service and, with a fluent Spanish –that still sounded silly thanks to his accent–, he asked for the best coffee they had. Money wasn't something he cared about at the moment, if seeing the love of his life happy meant spend all his money, he was be happy to do it.  
Just for Tweek.

After asking for more muffins for him he hung up, throwing himself in the bed with his husband. Craig hugged Tweek tightly, smiling against the coffee scented hair and closing his eyes.  
He sighed, looking down.

"This is nice"

"Yeah, aside from the fact that I can't understand anything they're saying and probably they're plotting my murder, this is nice"

Craig had to snort at that comment, rolling his eyes "Nobody is going to kill you, babe"

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, I do" Before Tweek had the chance to answer he shut him down, kissing him. Just like he had done a thousand times "Nobody is going to kill you, because if someone even tries to touch you I'm going to kill them first"

Tweek gasped slightly, but he was interrupted by a knock in the door. He rolled his eyes, but walked towards the door and opened it. There was standing a worker from the hotel, smiling at him while carrying a server with muffins and his mug of coffee.

"You asked for muffins?" Tweek asked at Craig, who looked up and raised his voice, not bothering in getting up.

"They are for me!"

"I thought so!" He just flipped him off, making Tweek look at the door again and smile at the girl a little embarrassed "Um... Gracias?"

"De nada, señor"

With that the girl disappeared in the hall, leaving Tweek alone with the server that he entered into the room.  
He sighed, closing the door.

"Please never make me do that again"

"No promises"

...

Tweek's face lighted up, smiling like hd was a child who just got a new toy. He looked at the mug, taking a longer gulp of the coffee. He barely breathe, too centered on this 'new gift of God', how he labeled it earlier.

"Do you like it, honey?"

"I love it! Dude, where has this been all my life?"

Craig smiled, happy of seeing his husband that happy. If this was the result of all his struggles during the day, then it was all worth it.

"I told you Colombian coffee was great"

"Can we move here?"

"No, we can't"

"Oh, come on! Why not?"

Craig has to be honest with himself.  
He hated the weather here and so did Tweek.

"You don't want to learn Spanish"

"... Oh, right"

**Author's Note:**

> I had this silly idea while making coffee.  
> Don't judge me. 
> 
> Anyways, if you don't know, I'm Colombian, so I wanted to use my country like the trash fan I am. 
> 
> Sorry.


End file.
